My Permanent Record

I am facing the possibility that I may have to drop out of the California Half in 3 weeks. I haven't run in nearly a week, the only ride I did the past week was a slow 1-hour attempt on Sunday. Yet yesterday, just sitting at my desk and walking around at work, I felt pressure building up in my knee as the day went on. I think it may be a muscle imbalance, because after a while the discomfort extended down to my foot.

You would think that I still have a bit of time to decide about the race, but there was an odd motivator in my inbox today: an email from the race organizers:

"Dear Ford Ironman California 70.3 Participants,
...If you are not racing and do NOT wish to have a race number assigned, please let us know by hitting reply to this email on or before Friday, March 14... As per our entry policy, the refund deadline has passed and you will not be entitled to a refund nor do we allow rollovers to another year."

My first reaction was that if I can't get my money back, and I can't rollover my entry, why on earth would I extend them the courtesy of canceling my entry? Then it occurred to me: My Permanent Record.

If I have a race number assigned and don't actually race, my name will be logged in the databanks for countless future generations to see with a big DNF next to it. Did Not Finish. There's certainly no shame in a DNF, except that there kind of is. I wish there was a way I could get a "DNF*" and let the asterisk allow me to explain the circumstances of the DNF.

There is no rational reason to drop out of the race yet. I don't want to make that decision until I see the doctor next week. It's more important to look at the long-term Ironman goal (which isn't too long-term anymore!), but this race is supposed to be the big confidence booster for me, or at least give me a good reading on where I stand. The drama continues...