Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Judge Not *hic*

With a name like Neoprene Wedgie, you wouldn't expect this to be a serious blog. But an anonymous poster said something about my drunken night out without knowing the facts, and it kind of upset me. Anonymous accused me of driving under the influence because I was plastered and only slept for 2 hours in my car. That's not the full story. For starters, anybody who has ever been out with me knows that I get wasted after only 3 or 4 drinks. And that's all I had all night. I never puked, I never fell down, I never even spilled anything. Yes, at 2:00 in the morning I felt I was not fit to drive. But by that point I had already stopped drinking for TWO HOURS. I was plastered at midnight. I was drunk at 1:00. At 2:00, I was, at worst, under the influence. And so I didn't drive. Instead, I waited ANOTHER TWO HOURS and slept. I walked to a 7-Eleven 2 blocks away and got something to eat. I went home. I believe my behavior that night was EXTREMELY responsible.

Anonymous says that their opinion of me has "fallen so dramatically" that they won't be back to my blog. That's a shame, because they should know the real story before judging me. This whole thing has me very stressed; I need a drink.


Anonymous Birthday Boy said...

As the birthday boy involved in the party on Saturday night and the last person to see Wedgie before going home at 2AM, I'd like to chime in. Yes, he drank. He was wasted. He went out for air. We danced our asses off. He had water. When I left him, he was on his way to get some food and considerably calmed-down from the hours before. He is right that he had not had a drink since midnight and I in no way felt that he could not drive home in the condition he was in nor would I have let him. Anon - I think you saw the incident and brought your own personal views to it for some reason, which is unfortunate and unfair. Your post says a helluva lot more about you than Wedgie. Interesting that you won't leave a name...

Mike - if you need that drink, it's on me.

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes I checked back. My name is Susan. I live in Toronto. I'm 42. What else do you want to know. My brother is an alcoholic who often gets wasted "sleeps" for a couple of hours and then drives. I wish his wife, my dad or myself could stop him. I wish I lived in the same city so I could intervene when I hear he is drinking. He's 50, still has his job, still has the keys to his car and some day, maybe soon, may kill someone. When I see someone toss off the idea of getting "wasted" and then driving home a couple of hours later I think drinking and driving. I apologize for my personal reaction but I just don't think there is anything entertaining about "potential" drunk driving, and potentially, that's what it read like to me.

I am hopeful that you will remain mindful of your use of a car after you drink. You have placed your self in the public eye and, as such, you can be seen as a role model to readers.

Mr. P, you have redeemed yourself somewhat with the wonderful and correct use of the semi-colon in your last piece. I'm crazy for semi-colons.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Mister P. said...

Thanks for checking back Susan! Your points are well-taken.

I am also a fan of the semi-colon; they are often misused.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh I feel warm and squishy now. Might be the wine with dinner - I'm not anti-drinking, just anti-drunk driving.

Nah, it's the semi-colon.


5:50 PM  
Blogger Mister P. said...

I should work on my plurals.

"I am also a fan of semi-colonS; they are often misused."

8:14 PM  
Blogger Iron Pol said...

The whole story seems fine to me, except the "walked to 7-11" part. That's where you really took the risk.

I did that once. Friend drove to bar as designated driver. I started getting hammered (and succeeded). Hours later, the manager asked if I knew "this guy" (my friend). They showed me a totally wasted dude puking his guts out. Some designated driver.

I got him to his car, took away his keys, and walked to 7-11 for some food. Goal, sober him up enough to check into a hotel. By the time I got back, the cops were there. They wanted me to drive him home, since he was drunk. I pointed out I couldn't drive his car, a stick shift.

End result: Him under arrest for drunk in public. Me under arrest "for my own safety." My breathalyzer, 0.11 (an hour after the cops told me to drive home).

Moral of the story: Don't go to 7-11 when you're too drunk to drive.

9:29 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

You've inspired me Mister P. I'm gonna go get hammered and contemplate all uses of the semicolon; both proper and improper.

1:33 PM  

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