With friends like these...

Stupid Dutch and Kentucky-dweller T-Bone were having a webcam chat:

T-Bone: "Are you guys still doing the swim-bike-run thing?"
Dutch: "I'm just running now, Mike's still doing it all."
T-Bone: "Get him on webcam… I'll tell him he's getting fat."
Dutch: "That would be hilarious!"

(Dutch sends me an IM: "get over here, I have T-Bone on webcam." I walk over to Dutch's office.)

T-Bone: "oh wow, have you gained weight?!"

There was much laughter.
Without saying a word, I walked out.
There was much more laughter.

Credit where credit is due: it was a very funny bit.