Sunday, September 16, 2007

Nautica Malibu Triathlon: Race Report

I grabbbed my first ass in the swim today.

Under normal circumstances, I would think it would be easy to avoid grabbing someone's ass, but I now understand how and why this can happen. In my race swims, it's usually pretty crowded with a lot of kicking and shoving at the start. But by the time we round the first buoy I've fallen behind a bit or have gone out to the side far enough that I have some room. Today, I was a little more aggressive; I stayed with a pack from my age group. It wasn't the front pack, but a pack nonetheless. Of course this meant that there was a lot more bumping and shoving.

I even managed to pass some people during the swim. Normally, if you come up behind someone swimming, you would expect to grab their feet or maybe get kicked in the head. However, what happens if they aren't kicking? Their legs will start to sink, but their bouyant wetsuit might keep their buttocks at the surface. I think that's what happened. All I know is that I took one big stroke and then BAM! I got a handful of neoprene butt crack. And like any good swimmer, I did a complete follow-through with my stroke. Which meant my hand slid down the cheeks and right between the legs. I have no idea who I groped, but unless I somehow managed to catch up with the co-ed relay teams that started 15 minutes before I did, it was probably a male, 35-39. Meh, if the neoprene is thick enough it all feels the same.

I did have to stop many times during the swim because of congestion so I don't think I will have a good time, but I am very happy that I tried an aggressive swim. Even if it meant getting fresh.

There was music playing in the transition area, and they could not have picked a more appropriate song while I was trying to get out of my wetsuit: Tommy Roe's "Dizzy" ("I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning, like a whirlpook it never ends") iTunes Link. I WAS dizzy. My head WAS spinning. The song made me laugh, and I've been hearing it in my head all day. I think it's going to be my new theme song.

I have a brand new speedometer for my bike, and it wasn't working in the morning. I had my bike racked up and was spinning the front tire, but I couldn't get the thing to register. I was very bummed. But then when I went fout on the bike, it worked fine. No idea why. I think I had a decent ride, but I don't know what my split time was. I'll be disappointed if I didn't improve over last year.

For the run, I wanted to finish in 36 minutes and according to my watch I did 35 and some change, so I was dead on with that.

Overall, it was just one of those races where I really enjoyed the day. More to follow.


Anonymous smart Dutch's g.f. said...

In the spirit of Mystikal: "Palm that ass! Show me what u workin' with!"

I guess it being done on the same day as the Emmys meant you had no competition from John Cryer or Felicity Huffman this year. So at least you know their asses weren't molested by you today. There's always next year.

Glad to see you were having a competitive race. I noticed you didn't mention leaving anything at home, so you must have had everything packed and organized, perhaps from a list of some sort?

2:02 AM  
Blogger Mister P. said...

Yes, I was well-organized. Clearly we know where the brains are in the Dutch Duo.

2:14 AM  
Blogger Shelley said...

sounds like a great race..

5:31 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

Good work Mister P! Way to get some! Too bad it wasn't co-ed. With congested swims there's no way around it. It's my least favorite part of the swim... But the big question is did you get him?!?

7:23 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Congrats on your race - 36 minute run is so fast! Maybe one of these days if I get my caboose in gear we can trade advice on swimming & running.

I think Disney did a great job of getting things together for this race this year: from the practice runs at SM & Zuma to the packing list and temp tattoos! I just wish it was the same for Nautica. The parking and bus situation, running out of food for the Celebrity brunch - ARGH!

People keep asking me how I did on my swim ('cause I was on a relay), and I don't even know because the results still have not been posted. You were smart to wear a watch!

11:27 AM  

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